Unintelligentsia

Anything but the grease!

Reading police blotters is hit or miss. Most times it’s dumb stuff like a kid kicking a recycling bin down the street, (a crime I once made the Kenmore police blotter for w00t!), or your more run of the mill murders, rapes, etc. But every so often you get the rare story that is epic in it’s hilarity, like for example, this beauty.

A Buffalo man told police two men, including his manager, forced him from his home Friday evening and drove him to the restaurant where he works and told him to clean grease off a Dumpster. The man, who lives off Hertel Avenue, said the pair forced their way into his bedroom by kicking open the door.

He also told police when he was done the manager gave him his paycheck and instructed him not to go to the police or “he would end up dead somewhere.”

That’s got to be a pretty intense situation right there. I can easily see why weapons weren’t necessary for this crime, since their criminal genius alone must have been intimidating enough. Thankfully it wasn’t worse than it was, I mean they could have made him clean the grease trap or something. Those things are gross!